Ayn Sof

Prof tells me to “go have fun” after a competition — I take a nap

My mother on turning 60 in April: “I’ve had a weird life, but I did everything I wanted to do, and I don’t have any regrets. There might be some stuff I should regret… Oh well.  I’ve done everything but kill and steal… Probably. I think I had somebody killed once, but I didn’t do the killing… It’s ok—God forgives you for your sins.”

My mother on not looking 60: “When I look in the mirror I do see a 60 year old woman. I have all these wrinkles, but I earned them from drinking and drugs. A woman came in the office a few days ago only 54 and donnette asked if she’d be retiring soon. ‘I’m only 54!’ she said. I guess it’s cause men still flirt with me. I know that’s bad…”

‘I feel like I’m driving to Mab’s rather than away from mine. That seems okay. Sure you can merge with me, I don’t mind. Would I feel any different if this were a different decade?’ Suddenly every car on the road was brand new and from the 90s. Bill Clinton was the president, and most people didn’t have cell phones. Everyone was dressed in clothes that could have only been made in the 90s and there were no nods or homages to past decades. All the drivers watched Saved by the Bell and recognized every song on the radio which only played 90s music because it’s the 90s. Everyone was in the now including Pocahontas who was craving juice and feeling the same as before. ‘Yeah I would feel the same.’ 

Hipster Poem 4

As the night tiptoes in
Through my bedroom window
I can’t help but feel disgust
I hated good night moon

Hipster Poem 3

I heard washing machines give out orgasms
I wasted too many hours
Of my life
Not coming
To believe that

Hipster Poem 2